after a week or so of getting down on myself for being so close to a goal, yet missing it, i was renewed in my motivation and spirit to run.

i live in hill mountain country (this is a nearby event).  when i moved here a bit over 4 years ago it took me about a month to get acclimated enough to run.  with all the beautiful trails i soon found myself loving to run up hills.

ever since my recent decision to attempt one fast marathon (st george this october) my focus changed to running flat & downhill routes (in order to run the suggested training speeds).

as a result my ability to run hills suffered, as did my feelings towards these runs.

actually, for a few runs after missing my goal my feelings towards running in general suffered.  because i was still recovering and i was working back up to the energy required to run as fast as i had been in previous training runs frustration was reached with great ease.

my next step was acceptance, or so i thought.  on a long run i took off my GPS watch and ran whatever pace felt comfortable.  for that day this was what i needed.

at the same time i let myself do other training days far below my best efforts,  i’ began to make do with being “comfortable” in my endeavors.

a week or so ago a friend and i drove part way up a local road in order to hike further up and then ran down.  after returning to the car, as we were headed back down, we said hello to another local running up the road.

something in me remembered how it felt to run up those hills.  how great it felt to get to the top of a trail, or hill, or turn-around point with the knowledge that i ran some, most, or all of that ascent (trails were almost always short stints of running).  i missed that.

my body is ready to work again.  it may be slow going.  it may be frustrating at first knowing what i am capable of and how it compares to where i am currently at.  also knowing some days need to be relaxed, easy, fun, little effort.  and this is ok.  this is what helps prepare mentally for those days where limits are pushed.

  • patience with myself
  • acknowledging where i am at physically and mentally
  • remembering each and every moment is it’s own (ie attempting to be present)

these are my new goals.

how do you overcome obstacles?  where do you find motivation?


i am because you are

ubuntu – i have fallen in love with the idea of ubuntu.

I read a story about an anthropologist who proposed a game to the kids in an African tribe.
He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told the kids that who ever got there first won the sweet fruits.
When he told them to run they all took each others hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats.
When he asked them why they had run like that as one could have had all the fruits for himself they said: UBUNTU, how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?
— Unknown

i even used it as the base for my fundraising letter (see below the “more” link).

my fascination with this word has become an attempt to incorporate this philosophy as a theme in my life.  i would love to see more ubuntu in the world.

with this all in the back of  my mind we now have another new pup (dog).

driving between states to visit my boyfriend’s grandmother, he, his mom, our dog, and myself in the car, we saw a dog on the side of the freeway.  it had a collar and we were worried it would walk into traffic.  so we turned around (as we had gone past too quickly the first time).

short story: after attempting for 2 hours (or so) to contact anyone who might know what to do (police, sheriff, animal control, animal shelters, etc.) we got the message – the dog was now ours.

they say she is 10+ years old.  she and our other pup, jackson, seem to get along well.  in the week since we found her she has gone from practically a zombie to trotting around, even running every so often.

now, the bigger challenge, is skipping over my own ego and trying to bring ubuntu into my relationships & communication with people.  i believe this will be a continual learning process.

one man in politics who seems to embody ubuntu – at least from a recent article i read – the mayor of newark, NJ.  here is one (of many) article(s) written about his recent actions

i hope to let love and compassion vs fear, rule more decisions in my life.


compartmentalizing and balance

com·part·men·tal·ize [kuhm-pahrt-men-tl-ahyz, kom-pahrt-]
verb (used with object), -ized, -iz·ing.
to divide into categories or compartments.

com·part·ment [kuhm-pahrt-muhnt]
1.a part or space marked or partitioned off.
2.a separate room, section, etc.


friends, family, school, work, types of activities (hiking, swimming, movie-going), life falls into many categories.  often there is an attempt keep things separate, like “don’t mix business with pleasure”, a way to keep it “clean”, so to speak.

logically i understand – if you mix your job with your home life there is the possibility that things could get difficult in a situation that would require you yo be unbiased.

“unbiased”, to many, means being completely unattached to the people involved.  if someone is completely separated from the situation, they are not invested in the outcome of those people.

there is a balance between being completely unbiased and completely influenced by a relationship.  to be truly just, in my humble opinion, is to fully understand all sides of a situation.  this means going beyond the mere facts, getting the full story, and being fully invested in what is best for everyone.

and i have sidetracked a small bit.

life is messy, chaotic, overwhelmingly so at times.  in some ways, we learn better being stuck in the big mess.  if we work too hard to separate different parts our lives, we could miss great opportunities.



photos © pyxie photography unless otherwise noted.
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