running for cade – or walking in my case

please be sure to read about cade

(bigger images at the bottom)

the originally  plan was to run a few miles (it’s been too long since i’ve run to go straight for 11).  due to me needing to get to the post office on time and wanting to include our older pup for a walk – our outing was a bike ride and then a walk / play time in the river.

a teeny part of me wishes i had been able to fit the run in – it was the perfect reason to start running again.  something has been holding me back since my burn out – and for the first time i was excited to run again.  hopefully i will get to this week.

to the bailey’s: i can only i imagine what you’ve been through.  i wish you & your family the peace and happiness you deserve.   you are a wonderful role model for anyone going through a hardship – bringing hope, inspiration, & joy from sadness – that is what people will connect to the memory of your son.   thank you for the inspiration to run.

please read below for the explanation & inspiration of today and these photos.
(maybe more tomorrow if we get home in time for a run.)

In 2000 when I was pregnant with my first son Ben, I had the blessing of meeting via an online pregnancy support group, “October Babies”, Dione Bailey. Dione was pregnant with her son, Cade. We kept in touch off and on over the years and shared their developmental milestones and lives with each other.

Sadly, at the age of 9, Cade contracted a virus, with a fever and vomiting in the days after Labor day. It was a normal tummy-bug that turned evil and his body allowed a brain & spinal disease in. In very short order he deteriorated and passed away just short of his 10th birthday on September 21, 2010.

In the coming years I kept in contact with Dione and came to know her incredible husband Jimmy. He has been her rock and is an amazing man who promised his son that one day he would run a marathon. Cade enthusiastically said he would be there to support him. Sadly, he never got to see that day, running the Twin Cities Medtronic Marathon in memory of his beautiful son.

Jimmy has asked us runners if this Mother’s Day weekend, we could all honor Cade by remembering him on our “11th mile”. Whether running a half, a full, or just the combination of miles in a two-day run, or ANY MILES FOR THAT MATTER, if you could honor him and post your run here – pictures are a plus! I know his family would be forever grateful.

Cade LOVED superheroes. Spiderman was the big one, but his first was The Hulk. He was just getting into Johnny Storm of the Fantastic 4 and Jim and him had plans on seeing the new Marvel movies coming out of Captain America and Thor. So if you are so inclined to wear a cape or any superhero symbol, that is appreciated as well!

Cade was a very special boy, just as all children are, and he is deeply loved and missed. Thank you VERY MUCH for considering doing this and being a part of my running community. Your outreach to this family that continues to painfully feel his absence, means a great deal. GOD BLESS AND MAY YOU ALWAYS RUN HEALTHY AND STRONG!







Having a kid breaks you. And you’re stronger for the broken places.
- gluten free girl & the chef

i’m engaged.  our plans are a little rushed – proposal august 2012 marriage planned in march 2013.  *knock knock*

the reason for the “rush” may seem silly to some.  i’m ready for sharing our life in a way that only a child can expand it.  i can only grasp the edges of what it will be like for that enormous, crazy, and wonderful change – in us, our dynamic, growing our family.

i think he is ready – he wants to be.

every so often my brain says”worry” and for a minute or two (or sometimes more) i do.  then i breathe and remember the tiny glimpses of what i have felt for just the idea of little feet and hands and their gurgles and other sounds, and soft skin, and that baby smell.  he will be present once she/he/they (possibility of twins for me) arrive.  it’s not a choice we make, as a parent it just is.

much more to say and yet nothing else to say.

wouldn’t it be wonderful if the world were as varied as this?  (or more)

time for me step away from the familiar computer and head out enjoy my mini-vacation.

smile – it suits you.

goodness and wishes

last night i began a book called Made For Goodness written by Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu.

“We are fundamentally good. When you come to think of it, that’s who we are at our core.
Why else do we get so outraged by wrong? When we hear of any egregious act, we are appalled.
Isn’t that an incredible assertion about us?”

i like this.  i bought the book a bit back when i came across the ubuntu quote.  after trying to find the exact quote i had read quite a bit about mr. Tutu and his speeches and philosophies and wanted something more.  so far – and i say this very tentatively only being in chapter 2 – he has lived up to all i had read.

for the few readers who stop by, i do realize it has been more than my usual month between writings.  life suddenly became busy – in a good way.  the saying “be careful what you ask for, you might get it” lately i’ve been blessed with many wishes coming true – sometimes just how i ask, other times in a round-a-bout way.

it’s all about learning to read that silver lining.  a quick example.  my boyfriend is now my fiance.  i often push him into decisions and was worried his asking might be from me pushing.  i wanted to know for sure that he asked because he wanted to.

move forward a few weeks when i am flying out to see if i like our ceremony location (it is closer to his grandmother as she would have trouble flying).  he and i had gotten up very early in the morning so i could get in my last long training run.  many hours (and miles) later i am iced, showered, dressed and headed to the airport.

i space cadetted and had the flight time in my head as the time i needed to be at the airport.  big oops.  my airport is small and you can push timeframe a little bit – not within 5 minutes of flight time.

by 9pm he has headed to the airport to pick me up and then drive me 2+ hours (plus our 40 minute drive home) plus a 30 minute drive in the morning (after 4ish hours sleep).  all this so i might be able to catch the 6am flight.  he was willing to do all this – even offered (my other option was renting a car and driving 6 hours) and did so very gracefully.  (for all who know my fiance he can definitely be grumpy – especially early am or lack of sleep or lack of food).

i was suddenly doubt free of his feelings for me.  i said thank you to the universe for clarity.

i also made note to be very clear on how my questions are asked (ie leaving future flights out of answers)

below is from his proposal

and on the subject of goodness – check out this awesome organization

the empowerment plan

they make coats for homeless – free – and provide jobs as well.  started by a student (i believe she’s still a student).
people continually inspire me 🙂

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photos © pyxie photography unless otherwise noted.
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