envy, jealousy, unhinged – get creative

from wikipedia

Envy (also called invidiousness) is best defined as a resentful emotion that “occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, experience or possession and wishes that the other lacked it.”

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection.  Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.

i’ve highlighted the parts i found myself in the midst of today.

i truly wish for success of my friends & family (and even those i have yet to meet).

i already was where she was.  i am in taking the next phase in my life.  yes, it hurt a little that she is more successful – or rather has me wondering “why does she have the ability to be more successful” and “not me”.  instead of being happy for her success.

i instantly felt the need to fix this feeling in me.  after reading an interesting article  by a woman named christine kane i felt more inspired and less “helpless” and sad.

below are a few of my favorite suggestions from her article.

7 – Be creative

The best remedy for any negativity, comparison, jealousy or envy is just to get creative. Write your next blog. Paint your next picture. Play guitar. Do something that makes you proactive. Get out of the reactivity. Creativity is a powerful place. And it shifts everything.

8 – Are you tired, overwhelmed, or hungry?

Being tired or hungry can make you more vulnerable to old patterns. I added the word “overwhelm” to the mix because jealousy can often come up in situations where there’s too much going on and you can’t find your center. Any of these kinds of very physical situations can bring on an episode. Take a nap. Get a good night’s sleep. Eat when you’re hungry. Move away from the overwhelm and get quiet. These are very real things. Especially if you’re an artist or creative type.

9 – Get quiet and centered

Sit still. Be quiet. And just feel the feeling without the story. Feel where the jealousy resides inside of you. Feel the envy without the story of the envy. If you can sit and breathe long enough, then it will pass. I promise. Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth is an excellent read when it comes to letting go of the story. So is Byron Katie’s new book A Thousand Names for Joy.

i realized currently i am overwhelmed, feeling pulled in all sorts of directions (by me), and as a result ungrounded, unfocused, unteathered – however you’d like to state it.

the first thing i then wanted to do was find something to do, paint, have some big achievement goal, etc. – something to make me “worthwhile”.

then i took deep breaths

i was doing it again, all sorts of directions.

i sat with the feeling. allowed it to be there for a minute.

i enjoyed my journey and found i prefer to be more anonymous.  i wish for tranquility, bringing joy and good things to the world & others, deeply knowing my friends (and having them know me).  that’s difficult to do in any sort of spotlight situation (no matter how small the spotlight).

i am worthwhile.  each and every person is.  some journeys may be more “glamorous” or get more recognition, fame, money, etc.  what truly matters is you – how your journey affects you within yourself.

sometimes the quiet long unrecognized journey takes more effort.  to have “everything” and an audience to continually say “we love you”  or “you can do it” is less of an effort than the mom who week after week gives her time and energy to be sure her kids are fed, dressed, healthy, and feel loved with little or no recognition. or the postperson who does his/her job getting your mail to you – the old fashioned way of communicating for long distances, maybe the only way to hear from distant relatives in years past.  anyone really who is “doing their job” or training for an event or test of some sort.

there is a monetary “encouragement” for work – but this is far from what we are worth.  and so vastly different from “thank you”  “good job”  and just plain old wonderful love, compassion, understanding – the basic human needs.

next time you see a friend, family member, co-worker, your boss, or even someone who you don’t know but you see them working hard or doing something that could be recognized – tell them.  pass on the good feelings.

or just do a random act of kindness.  leave a nice card, give a ride to that neighbor always walking, anything – be creative.  just bring more humanity to the present.

“what actually makes us happy is not a new iphone or new car, even if it is a prius

what actually makes us happy is very consistent across age groups, ethnicities, income levels once your basic needs are met – if you don’t have a roof and food and basic needs you need more stuff.  

once your basic needs are met, it’s not stuff.  it’s having leisure time with friends and family, having community.  it’s having a sense of purpose and meaning in your life.  it’s working together with others towards shared goals.”

from a video – Annie Leonard: moving from consumer to citizen

i wish you all creative outlets, friends & family you feel close with, and feeling loved and appreciated.

i’m headed off to walk the dogs.



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