zen of a 6 month old – little moment

we are at a retreat this week. my wonderful mom is watching our daughter (and old dog) while my wonderful husband joins me at the talks. my wonderful dad is back at our house with our other 3 animals.

my daughter has taught me many times over how to just let is go. once the moment is past she does not hold it against me or savor it or bring it up again and again or wait until she can use it to make a point.

she is happy or sad or hungry or curious and moves to the next moment

thank you beautiful girl

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ask

quick entry hopefully. ever since m (our daughter) was born I found myself complaining in my head and asking for things. i often got what i asked for in a different way than i expected. i have slowly become more thankful and more specific in my asking.

recently one of my struggles has been giving m the attention she needs & deserves, yet still helping around the house. someone mentioned a book & concept called the continuum concept.

i ordered the book. already today just from wearing her, sleeping (and not waking up) is vastly improved. sometimes a short little whimper than sleep, mostly just sleep. and loud noises or talking – little or no reaction.

thank you, i look forward to reading the book. i’ve been reading many
a helpful book lately.

unconditional love aka being mom

for the few readers interested in my MIA status – our household now includes one more beating heart, our beautiful daughter.

it has been one crazy adventure – the house is a disaster, being on time is a rarity, everything takes much longer to get done – and it is so very worth it.

i had been making notes in my old phone about things I want to post – we will see if any of it makes the leap.

my beautiful girl is napping and life has become as “normal” as it can get for a while. ie i can function :)

for me, becoming mom has brought about the first constant and consistent unconditional love – there is nothing like it in my life. it is a challenge heart melting, struggle, and great joy – plus much more.

unconditional love has been a goal, desire, what have you, for a while – that search for zen. there is something about growing this little being in you and then seeing (her) in front of you and growing & changing every day. i will always love her no matter what – always

challenge to be the best i can be. silly, and we hear it often, but for me it is truth. when there is an uncomfortable situation or something I may not want to do – i try to do it so she sees the good example: face fears, do what is “right”

heart melting to see her every day. have you seen the first smile when a baby wakes up? or heard a baby’s laugh?

struggle to be who I want, to express unconditional love with everyone.

with my husband i often find myself stepping back for a moment and asking if i would have the same reaction with our daughter. usually the answer is no because I “expect” certain things – so i breathe and attempt how i would react with her

with myself I want so much for our family, especially our daughter. sometimes i find myself torn between wanting things to be done or happen a certain way and just letting things be as they are. being sure i am taken care of – I tend to put me last, for food, time to relax, etc because our daughter comes first. at the same time if I don’t take some time to care for me she will suffer for it (like not eating enough). I guess I struggle with where that line is, of caring for me to help her vs just for me (more selfish)

joy of firsts – first sucking her thumb, first time rolling over, holding her foot – each new thing is totally new and amazing to see.

enjoy cuteness

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