for the few readers interested in my MIA status – our household now includes one more beating heart, our beautiful daughter.
it has been one crazy adventure – the house is a disaster, being on time is a rarity, everything takes much longer to get done – and it is so very worth it.
i had been making notes in my old phone about things I want to post – we will see if any of it makes the leap.
my beautiful girl is napping and life has become as “normal” as it can get for a while. ie i can function :)
for me, becoming mom has brought about the first constant and consistent unconditional love – there is nothing like it in my life. it is a challenge heart melting, struggle, and great joy – plus much more.
unconditional love has been a goal, desire, what have you, for a while – that search for zen. there is something about growing this little being in you and then seeing (her) in front of you and growing & changing every day. i will always love her no matter what – always
challenge to be the best i can be. silly, and we hear it often, but for me it is truth. when there is an uncomfortable situation or something I may not want to do – i try to do it so she sees the good example: face fears, do what is “right”
heart melting to see her every day. have you seen the first smile when a baby wakes up? or heard a baby’s laugh?
struggle to be who I want, to express unconditional love with everyone.
with my husband i often find myself stepping back for a moment and asking if i would have the same reaction with our daughter. usually the answer is no because I “expect” certain things – so i breathe and attempt how i would react with her
with myself I want so much for our family, especially our daughter. sometimes i find myself torn between wanting things to be done or happen a certain way and just letting things be as they are. being sure i am taken care of – I tend to put me last, for food, time to relax, etc because our daughter comes first. at the same time if I don’t take some time to care for me she will suffer for it (like not eating enough). I guess I struggle with where that line is, of caring for me to help her vs just for me (more selfish)
joy of firsts – first sucking her thumb, first time rolling over, holding her foot – each new thing is totally new and amazing to see.